Fun on the Knight Bus
by StrongHermione
Summary: An isle-wide Anti-Apparition ward has been put into effect. How is the stranded witch or wizard able to get about? The Knight Bus of course. Much to the displeasure of Lucius Malfoy, he too has had to call the Purple Bus of Hell to his aid. How does one survive the ignominy of having to ride cattle class? Perhaps his seat-mate might provide a distraction. EWE? AU, rated M.


_Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling et al. Any characters or locations you recognise are the intellectual property of these individuals and corporations. I make no money from the writing of this story._

_**Warning: This story is rated M.**_

_This story has not been beta'd. Any errors are my own. This is just a quick piece. SweetTale4U wanted some HG/LM smut, and Claudilla offered a prompt: __M rated fun on the Knight Bus__. Here you are, ladies:_

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June 8th—apparently a very unlucky day according to Grafton's Manual and one Sybil Trelawney. Every June 8th she would prophesy doom to her class of avid listeners, usually ones that were already stressed about upcoming OWLs and NEWTs. At least one of her students took her seriously and was bound and determined to do something proactive in regards to the dire predictions of death caused by splinching.

Jarvis Moon had graduated from Hogwarts in the spring of 2005. He had quickly gained employment as an administrative drone in the Apparition Control department and determined that he was indeed the destined person to prevent the multitudes of tragedy that were sure to befall the wizarding population of England should they attempt to Apparate on June 8th. He had proof, too—everyone knew that Perseus Florentine splinched himself spectacularly on June 8th, 1986 after leaving the Bog and Hive Pub in the early hours of the morning. The fact that he had been drinking was immaterial, the proof was there in the pudding. Jarvis instituted an isle-wide Anti-Apparition ward, beginning precisely at midnight and set to be in effect for twenty four hours.

Notification had been duly sent to The Daily Prophet and The Quibbler. The Quibbler ran a cover story on the event; the Prophet merely entered a small note buried amongst the classifieds. Jarvis had done his duty.

It was not his fault that no one took The Quibbler article seriously and no one even saw the note in The Daily Prophet…

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Whence, on June 8th, Lucius Malfoy found himself stranded in Wales where he had spent the previous evening closing out a business deal. The hotel concierge helpfully informed him of the Apparition problem and offered the use of the hotel's floo. The problem was that since Draco was currently in China on business and Narcissa (otherwise referred to as the psycho-ex-wife-from-hell) could not be trusted to stay out of the manor when it was unoccupied, Lucius had shut down the floo for the night.

He tried to call for one of his elves but the Anti-Apparition ward had been extended to include all humans and magical creatures capable of Apparating _(Jarvis Moon was diligent in his work and no one could accuse _him_ of slacking off!)_. The concierge apologetically informed him that the hotel was completely booked out that night for the annual fairy hunt, along with all the lodgings nearby.

Lucius used the floo to try and obtain a Ministry car but they were all in use by Aurors and high-level Ministry officials. With a sinking heart, Lucius realised his only other option was the Knight Bus. Briefly he considered buying the hotel on the spot and simply turfing one of the guests for the night out on his or her ear, but ultimately he knew it would be a waste of money. He curtly settled his bill and exited the hotel to the curb.

With an exhalation of impatience—mixed with a healthy dose of apprehension and a dash of despair—Lucius drew his wand from within his cane and flung his arm out dramatically to hail the Bus of the Common Man. A common man he was not. But one must suffer the ignominies of life—it was how one knew one was refined after all.

With a _bang!_ the Knight Bus pulled up on the side of the road and the conductor hopped off. "Good morning, welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. My name is Billy Crawford and I will be your conductor today. M-Mr M-Malfoy?" The conductor's bored, droning voice became nervous and trembly when he recognised the well-known wizard standing before him.

"Malfoy Manor, Wiltshire," Lucius said crisply as he strode past the conductor who was now scrambling for the bags that had been sitting beside him. As he stepped up onto the first step into the bus he drawled, "And I will pay whatever it takes to have my stop moved to the top of the list."

Billy struggled on-board with the bags and deposited them into a large storage cupboard. "T-terribly s-sorry, s-sir," he stuttered. "M-ministry decree for today: flat rate, no exceptions, everyone in their turn. You're looking at an hour-long journey today. B-best I can offer ye is that the s-second-to-last person to get on is headed your way as well, you c-can bunk off with her."

Lucius took some satisfaction at the look of sheer terror in the conductor's eyes as he delivered the announcement. "Very well," he seethed through clenched teeth. "Just what is the 'flat rate' on this contraption?"

"Sixteen sickles, sir," came the quick reply. "Sorry but we can't offer any extras today, lucky we have enough seats. I fink there's one left up on the third deck. Best be quick, we ain't got time ta tarry." The conductor's nervousness seemed to have vanished much to Lucius' chagrin.

Eyeing the steep stairs apprehensively, Lucius paid his fare and gripped the handrail just as the bus took off. He lurched his way up the two flights, banging into the walls of the confined vestibule as the bus jumped through space and hurtled down country lanes and city streets alike. The bus ground to a sudden halt as he reached the top of the staircase and only years of fleet-footed duelling practice allowed him to keep his feet, even if he looked somewhat like a club-footed dancer as he stomped his way down the aisle with the momentum of a cannon ball. He gripped the edge of the seatback of the only available seat on the bus. His wand was still in his hand and he pointed it at the ancient leather, cleansing it thoroughly with a Scourgify charm before transfiguring his handkerchief into something that more resembled a bed sheet and draping it over the seat. Hearing the engine start to rev again, he quickly sat down before he could find himself being thrown back from whence he came.

Staring resolutely forward, Lucius was only peripherally aware that he was sharing the small bench seat with a witch. She did not offer any conversation and Lucius was certainly in no mind to be chatty. Indeed the ride passed in a tense silence for several minutes as the bus continued to jerk and lurch all over the English countryside, stopping and starting as passengers got on and off.

Aware that the bus was currently in the Midlands, Lucius was surprised to hear a small squeak emit from his seat-mate. Turning his head slightly, he immediately recognised the young woman sitting beside him.

"Miss Granger," he acknowledged with a stiff bow of his head.

"Mr Malfoy," she returned formally. Lucius could not help but notice her flustered state. Her breaths were coming in short gasps and sweat was beading on her brow. The engine revved again and she squeaked once more before shifting in her seat. A dark red flush bloomed on her face and rapidly travelled down beneath the neck of her robes.

"Are you quite well, Miss Granger?" he asked. She looked as though she were about to vomit.

"Mmhmm," she nodded. Just then, the bus jolted over a large bump and the witch moaned, squirming again in her seat. A faint scent wafted in the air, one that Lucius was quick to identify.

_'Merlin!'_ he thought. _'She is aroused!'_ Indeed the engine and the movement of the bus were causing a deep vibration in the seats. What was once a comfortably cushioned bench seat had, over the years, deteriorated into a lumpy, hard surface that Lucius supposed, if sitting in just the right spot, could certainly stimulate a woman's erogenous zones.

_'Perhaps this ride might just become a little more tolerable,' _he thought lasciviously. The witch had been on his radar for some time and he had often plotted ways he might get her in his bed. Granted, this had not been one of them, but sometimes one simply had to work with what one had.

He had already determined that Hermione Granger was the witch who was on her way to Wiltshire. As soon as he recognised her he remembered that today was his scheduled bi-monthly review into how he was keeping his house-elves. As Miss Granger had been the head sponsor of the legislation reforming the treatment and conditions of house-elves in service, he had insisted that she be the one to conduct the infernal reviews at Malfoy Manor that were required of all house-elf owners. He took great delight in ensuring she checked every nook and cranny of his home and he made her extensively interview his wailing elves every two months to certify his compliance with the infernal law.

Another lurch, another moan; this time he could hear the sensual undertones and he subtly moved just a little bit closer to her, flicking his wand as he did so to cast a mild privacy charm—one designed to allow people to know they were there but not see or hear exactly what they were doing. He was interested to hear the quickening of her breath as she registered his closer presence and surprised to feel her shift slightly toward him. He leaned his head down and spoke, his hot breath tickling her ear.

"Why, Miss Granger, one might believe you are somewhat… stimulated right now," he said softly. He tested her, licking the outer shell of her ear with the tip of his tongue. The whimper she gave in answer emboldened him further and he lifted the arm that was trapped between them, gently rubbing his leather-gloved finger against the side of her breast. When she did not protest, he continued with a firmer stroke, slowly rubbing closer and closer to her hidden nipple. She shuddered when his finger finally grazed over the sensitive tip. He continued to breathe his hot breath into her ear as he did so, occasionally darting his tongue out to lave the sensitive skin or to suck the lobe into his mouth.

"You look dishevelled," he purred. "And you have a delightful flush to your skin. How far down does it go, I wonder?" He had deftly untied the clasp of her robe as he spoke and now parted it to reveal the crisp, white blouse she wore underneath. After sheathing his wand, he lifted his now-free hand to her collar. As he continued to speculate on the depth of her colouration, he slipped the two top buttons free of their fastenings and opened the lapels. He smirked when he saw the flush spread down into the cream lace bra that encased two of the perkiest breasts he had ever seen.

Amazingly her flush deepened further under his scrutiny. She arched slightly as the engines revved yet again, sending intense vibrations through the seat into her core. Taking advantage of her movement, Lucius slipped his arm around her to hold her steady and turned himself so he had full access to her delectable body. Pressing his now hard cock into her side, he left her in no doubt of his intent to seduce her. Accepting the breathy moan and the hand suddenly mapping a path on his upper thigh as signs of her consent, he unbuttoned three more of the tiny pearls on her blouse and palmed her lace covered breast firmly with the hand that had wound around her body. His other hand began to freely roam.

He placed a hot, wet kiss to her temple, before leaning back to her ear. "It does go a long way down, doesn't it, Miss Granger?" he said.

"Hermione," she corrected him breathlessly.

"Hmm?" he asked, placing kisses on the patch of skin behind her ear.

"With one hand on my tit, the other heading rapidly toward my pussy and your tongue in my ear, I think you can call me Hermione," she said. It was the most she had spoken since he sat down.

Smirking at her dirty words, he decided to test to see how far she would actually go. "Indeed, _Hermione_," he drew the syllables of her name out, squeezing her breast when she whimpered. The hand travelling rapidly downward sped up even more, skimming straight over her skirt and up underneath. "You are a dirty girl, aren't you? Here in public, speaking filthy words and allowing just anyone to touch you." He squeezed her breast again just as the hand questing under her skirt found her cloth covered centre and pressed against it slightly. A small moan. "What would your dear friends think if they could see you now? Hmm?" He worked a single finger under the elastic of her knickers and ran it through the slit, giving a little smile at the gasp of arousal she let out.

"I think I would like to feel just how wet you are, pet," he breathed into her ear. Her eyes darkened as she watched his gloved finger reappear from under her skirt, the leather clearly smeared with evidence of her arousal. He placed the finger straight into his mouth, sucking her essence away before using his teeth to pull the glove off. As he reached back down, Hermione spread her legs as much as the seat allowed, granting him access. Even he could not help the moan from escaping his lips as he encountered her warm, wet skin for the first time with his own. He pushed aside the gusset of her knickers and delved his fingers into her folds, searching out her clit just as she in turn fumbled with the fly of his trousers, reaching in and grasping his cock through his boxers and squeezing.

For several minutes, the pair stroked each other, bringing themselves to the height of desire before both suddenly cresting a wave of bliss. Lucius slammed his lips onto Hermione's so they could each swallow the other's cries of passion. Holding her tightly as she came down from her orgasm, Lucius was quite stunned to see her mimic his earlier action of bringing her come-covered hand to her mouth and licking it clean. Despite having an orgasm a minute prior, his cock twitched at the sounds of enjoyment Hermione was making as she feasted on his essence. He imagined what it might feel like if she made those sounds as he was emptying his balls directly into her mouth.

The engine of the bus revved again and Hermione shifted in her seat. "How much longer do you think?" she asked. "I don't know if I'm up for much more stimulation of this kind."

"I'd imagine not long now. What kind of stimulation might you be up for?" he asked with a grin.

"I've conducted several visits to your home now," she reminded him. "The bath in your ensuite has always intrigued me," she confessed.

"Since this blasted Anti-Apparition ward is in place I cannot in good conscience allow you to get back on this bus today. Not without a proper escort at least and believe me, I have no desire to travel on this vehicle ever again." He paused when Hermione giggled. "Perhaps you will have to stay at the Manor tonight," he placed a kiss behind her ear, having discovered that particularly sensitive spot, "and what sort of host would I be if I did not allow you to avail yourself of the facilities?"

"A bad one if you made me avail myself of them alone," she teased.

"Well, we cannot have that, can we?"

A particularly strong vibration reverberated through the seat, causing Hermione to arch her back. "Oh, God, please, make it stop!" she said.

Lucius checked quickly to make sure his charm still held and delved his fingers back underneath Hermione's skirt to bring her relief again. This time, he whispered all manner of sensual things he planned to do with her in his bath as he expertly fingered her clit and teased her entrance. An unexpected jolt of the bus caused his lightly probing finger to thrust directly up her pussy and over her g-spot. The sudden call of, "Next stop—Wiltshire," coincided with her second orgasm. As tempted as he was to stay and bring her down properly, he much preferred the option of moving this interesting tryst into the comfort and privacy of his Manor.

Unsheathing his wand, he quickly redressed and tidied the two of them up. He stood and offered his hand to Hermione, helping her up. He left the transfigured handkerchief where it was, it was of no use to him now, and escorted his new paramour down the stairs, arriving just as the bus stopped. With a scathing glance at the conductor, he retrieved his luggage, swept them down the steps and through the gates of his manor with nary a by-your-leave.

As the pair approached the imposing edifice, an elf ran to relieve Lucius of his cases. When the small creature recognised Hermione, she began to fret. Visits from the Ministry Representative caused all sorts of trouble for the elves as it took them away from their regular duties and the elves always worried that this might be the visit that caused their Master to present them with clothes in order to avoid the trouble in the future. Once Hermione assured the elf that her visit today had turned out to be social, not official, the elf relaxed and ran ahead with the bags.

"This is not how I envisaged this day turning out," Hermione remarked as she cuddled into the arm Lucius had offered her.

"It's not? I would have thought the first thing on your mind when you woke this morning would have been that you might allow me to satisfy you on the Knight Bus," he teased. His eyebrows rose in surprise when Hermione blushed at his words.

"Maybe not on the Knight Bus," she muttered.

"Hermione, was it your plan to seduce me today?" he asked astutely. Hermione made a bit of a show of looking everywhere but at Lucius. He gently grasped her chin and turned her face toward him. "How long have you wanted me, pet?" he asked, his voice silkily caressing her senses.

"Longer than I should have," she confessed. "I was going to try and find some excuse to get close to you today, it just happened in a completely unexpected way."

"What if I had not been on that bus?" Lucius asked with a smile.

"Then I think I would have jumped you the moment I arrived," she replied wryly. They had reached the open door by now and Lucius bowed her inside.

"By all means, do not let the fact that I have already helped you achieve satisfaction twice stop you from having your way with me," he said.

Hermione waggled her eyebrows at him playfully. "How about that bath?"

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_Thanks to SweetTale4U and Claudilla for getting my muse going again. Hopefully this was the kick-start she needed :) _

_I hope you all enjoyed._


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